In far too many classes that I have taught over the last 5 years, I have heard the refrain from students, “This is the first time we are learning this.” Or, even more disturbing, “I wish I had learned this earlier in my college career.”

在我五年多来的教学生涯中 ， 我听到太多次学生的这种心声 ， 他们忍不住想说 ， “这是我头一次学到这些知识 。”或更让人感到懊恼的声音 ， “我要是早一点 ， 在大学时期就学到这些知识该多好！”

I’m not a teacher by training or official schooling. I’m an educator, certainly, but I’ve learned most of what I know from the school of hard knocks. Yes, I am blessed to have obtained an MBA—but the actionable, and repeatable, ideas I have gained over time have come from making mistakes and trying to figure out how to fix them. I’ve had only a couple of mentors throughout my career, and more often than not, I have been in situations where I was trying to figure out answers to questions that seemed impossible.

我并不是拥有专业的训练或正式的职业培训的那种正规教师 ， 但却是一个教育工作者 ， 而我大部分的知识是从人生的坎坷之中学习到的 。不错 ， 我很高兴成功地拿到了我的MBA学位 ， 但是 ， 我长期积累获得的那些真正具有可行性和可重复性的观念 ， 却来源于不断的犯错和努力纠正错误的过程 。在我目前的整个生涯中 ， 我仅仅遇到屈指可数的几名人生导师 ， 更常出现的情况是 ， 我发现自己身陷困局 ， 孤立无援 ， 似乎在为不可解的问题苦苦寻觅解答 。

What are some of the life lessons I would teach every college student—and career professional—if I had the chance? Here are seven of the most important lessons I fervently wish everyone could have the chance to learn:

假如我有机会大学生和参加工作的专业人士讲授知识的话 ， 我会教给他们哪些人生课程？以下就是七条最重要的人生建议 ， 我强烈希望人人都有机会学到这些宝训：

1.It’s a waste of time and energy to find the person, people or organization to “blame” for your troubles. There are so many things in life that aren’t fair; I teach my kids it is the one four-letter word I never want to hear them utter. Why? Because you can’t right all of the wrongs, and you won’t ever be at peace if you are looking for fair. Does that mean you don’t try to change things or fix yourself? Of course not! But, more importantly, focus on those things you can control and you can influence. Spend minimal time on those things that are completely out of your control. Instead of blaming and finger-pointing, figure out what you can do to make a difference.

1. 人生一旦遇到麻烦 ， 就直接想要去寻找可以归咎的个体、他人或者组织 ， 这完全是对时间和精力的浪费 。人生于世 ， 不公平者 ， 十常八九 。我教给孩子的一条铁律就是 ， 我绝不想从你们的嘴里听到公平这两个字 。为什么？因为你不可能总是做到正其不正使其正 ， 而且 ， 假如你在寻求正义的话 ， 你的人生永世不会得到心灵的平静 。那么 ， 这是否就表示你可以安于现状 ， 安于自己 ， 不对自身和事情做任何改变？当然不是！只是 ， 比这些更重要的事情是 ， 多关注那些在你的控制和影响范围之内的事情 。至于那些不是你所能控制的事情 ， 能离多远就离多远 。与其浪费时间于怨天尤人 ， 不如多想想自己能做些什么 ， 做出改变 。

2.Communication isn’t natural and doesn’t come easy to most people. Yes, we learn to talk at an early age and talking, as well as walking, is a natural function for most people. But talking and communicating are two different things. Communication takes focus and energy. It takes a sincere interest in the other person or people. It requires active and reflective listening. In other words, you need to actually care about others if you ever really want to communicate effectively.

2. 交流能力既不是出自天生 ， 也不是人人可以轻松掌握的 。不错 ， 我们的确很早的时候就开始学习讲话 ， 而且讲话也正如走路一样 ， 是人人都具有的自然性质的功能 。但是 ， 讲话和交流这二者之间 ， 却天差地别 ， 迥然不同 。交流要求专注 ， 消耗精力 。你对对方或是他人要有真挚的兴趣 。它要求你具有积极主动和适时回应的聆听能力 。也就是说 ， 如果你真的希望进行有效的交流的话 ， 那么 ， 你需要确实关心对方 。

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标题：那些我们在大学学不到的东西|那些我们在大学学不到的东西