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Does anxiety lead you to hesitate and second-guess yourself? When you think of starting a new project or going into a group situation with people you don’t know, do you feel butterflies in your stomach or a sense of dread? Do you come up with lots of reasons not to do a potentially fun or profitable activity that has some degree of risk, like joining a hiking club or volunteer organization posting your dating profile online, getting fit, starting a blog, or turning your hobby into a small business? Do you do tons of research but not take the next step to turn your ideas into action? If this is you, anxiety and excessive caution may be getting in your way and stopping you from going after your dreams and living a more meaningful and fulfilling life. Avoidance feeds on itself and makes you less confident, while getting started and taking action creates a positive cycle that naturally helps your anxiety go down. But where do you begin? The strategies below provide a roadmap for moving forward and taking the first step towards the life you long for!
你有没有过因为焦虑而优柔寡断、自我怀疑?开始一个新项目,或是想融入一个新的群体,心里会不会七上八下、忐忑不安甚至有些恐惧?参加徒步旅行俱乐部、或是加入自愿组织在网上晒自己的约会档案、减肥、写博客、把自己的的爱好做成事业......这些事情看上去既有趣又有意义,你心生向往跃跃欲试,但最终是不是还是为自己编了一堆理由放弃,只因为其中可能存在的风险?是不是做了无数研究但就是没法做出行动把想法变成现实?如果这是你,那么焦虑和过度谨慎可能已经妨碍你追逐梦想、过上有意义且充实的生活 。逃避只会恶性循环让你更加不自信,而开始行动则会建立正向回路让你自然而然减少焦虑 。那么怎么开始呢?以下的策略提供了一条向前进的路,为你开启追求理想生活的第一步!
Don’t Wait for Your Anxiety to Go Down
不要坐等焦虑减轻!
Your anxiety is likely wired in as part of your temperament and won’t just go down on it’s own. Our human brains are hard-wired not to like uncertainty, unpredictability and change and some of us are just anxiety-prone by nature. However, when you take action towards your goals despite the anxiety and you actually survive the experience, your brain begins to label uncertainty as less dangerous. Over time, you build a sense of self-efficacy - you begin to see yourself as someone who can take action and be successful even when you're feeling anxious.
焦虑植根于我们的天性之中,它不会自己减轻 。人类的大脑生来就憎恶不确定性、不可预计性和变化,只是有些人天生焦虑易感性更高 。然而当你顶着焦虑采取行动朝着目标迈进时,大脑会重新评估,并告诉你其实不确定性也没有那么危险,这就是成功的第一步 。随着时间的推移,慢慢地你会建立一种自我效能感,即使感到焦虑,你也会认为自己有行动能力并且能够通过行动获得成功 。
Set a Realistic Goal That Makes Sense for You
设立适合自己的、符合实际的目标!
We all have different personalities, temperaments. and preferences. We don’t all want to be lawyers, have hundreds of friends, run marathons, be super-skinny and live in a mansion. Anxiety makes you see yourself as less talented, lovable or competent than others. When you think of moving forward, if you don’t really know yourself, you may set a goal to be like your friend or neighbor - to do what is socially acceptable or what others expect of you. It’s very hard to remain committed and follow through on difficult long-term goals, especially if you’re not really passionate about the activity. Rather than thinking about what you ‘should” be doing, take a look inside and ask yourself what you really want. Perhaps you are a creative person, or want to travel, have life balance, live healthier, or find a caring partner. Whatever it is you want, figure out what is the easiest thing you can do to get started. Phrase your goal specifically “e.g., walk for 20 minutes three times next week.” You can’t climb a mountain all at once and you’re more likely to achieve your goal with intrinsic (coming from the inside) motivation than when you’re just trying to please others.
我们都有不同的性格、脾气和喜好 。并不是每个人都想成为律师、朋友成群、跑马拉松、瘦成闪电或者坐拥豪宅 。焦虑让你觉得自己没有别人有天分、有竞争力,甚至不像别人一样值得被爱 。如果你不了解真正的自己,在设立目标时,你很有可能会仿照你的朋友甚至邻居,去做一些社会认可的事情或是满足他人的期望 。这种情况下设立的目标很难成为长期坚持的目标,尤其是那些你并非真正热爱的事情 。与其总是想你“应该”做什么,不如换个角度想想你真正想要什么,说不定你是个有创造力的人,或是想要生活工作平衡、想去旅行、活得更健康,又或者你只是想找个可心的人儿 。不管你想要什么,想清楚,然后找到最容易的入手的事情行动起来 。把目标用具体的可量化的方式表达,比如:“下周散步三次,每次20分钟 。”切记,不要想一步登天,一口吃成个胖子,另外达成目标最好是内部动机驱动,而不是为了取悦他人 。
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标题:别让焦虑成为你追逐梦想的绊脚石|别让焦虑成为你追逐梦想的绊脚石