认为GRE写作和托福写作一样的是不是“虎”？ LAB

GRE写作满分为6分，国内考生的平均分为3分。

TOEFL写作满分为30分，但一个拿到28分以上的考生在考完托后直接杀G的写作成绩只有3分。

那么，GRE和TOEFL写作有无差异呢？

这个问题相信我们已经有答案了。

为什么成绩差异这么大呢？

主要是我们写作过程中论证分析存在四大误区。

误区一：对 Issue 题目理解有偏差，如：

Issue 44.

Claim: It is no longer possible for a society to regard any living man or woman as a hero. （立场：一个社会无法把任何当代人看作英雄了。）

Reason: The reputation of anyone who is subjected to media scrutiny will eventually be diminished. （理由：任何人的名声只要沦为媒体调查的对象就终将会衰退。）

首段习作：

“While some people agree with the claim that the society will no longer regard one as a hero because no one’s reputation will survive under the exposure of media, I contend that though a person’s personality can be exaggerated, his or her behaviors can be misunderstood by medias, hero figures are still possible to exist today in the fields of science and entertainment.”

Domino 点评：

对原issue的理解出现偏差，把“is subjected to media scrutiny”替换成“personality can be exaggerated.. or behaviours can be misunderstood”, 会导致写着写着就跑题了，建议

“It is not uncommon for people to argue that it is no longer possible for us to regard any contemporary man or woman as a hero. Proponents may claim that the intensive media coverage now may tarnish the reputation of anyone who is exposed in the spot light. This sentiment may be true if we assume that heroes should be perfect and flawless. Though it is human nature to err, we won’t have trouble finding our heroes and keep admiring him or her. ”

误区二：理由没有支持观点，如

Issue 51.

Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.

年轻人应该被鼓励追求长远且现实的目标，而不是寻觅立刻的名声和认可。

段落习作：

“Admittedly, every child may dream of being a popular star or taking place in a Hollywood movie, and they also long for the fame and life being a star can bring about. It is a colorful life according to children’s fantasy, but people cannot ignore the bad influence having such a life will bring. Imagine a teenager is regarded as a popular star and enjoy high reputation all over the world, he or she may be stuck into this comfortable zone and reluctant to move on or to study more. Once the young star stopped learning new things and reluctant to accept changes, he or she will lose the fame and recognition soon, or even worse, people will take him or her an example of bad behaviors. Moreover, immediate fame and recognition also brings high-level of pressure to young people because their lives are exposed under flashlights. For instance, Justin Bieber was famous for his talent for popular music when he was young, he still enjoys reputations now, but his private life attracts more attention from the media, which leads to the different judgements by the public, and his friends and he himself also suffer a lot from it. Therefore, even getting an immediate reputation seems appealing, teenagers may not want a problematic and stressful life that is totally transparent to the public.”

Domino 点评:

文章的中心论点应该是支持原Issue的观点，但本段话明显跑题了，因为本段更多是在说“从事娱乐产业的弊端”，建议改改，强调“在娱乐产业，有一个长远且且实际的目标带来的好处 ” （论证过程中可以用“短期名声和认识度会带来消极的影响”作为对比突出长远目标才是年轻人该选择的），比如

“Many teenagers dream of getting immediate recognition in the entertainment industry. But nothing comes easy. We see the fancy party, glamorous dress and pretty smiles in the spotlight. Little do we know the years of training and hard work invested to obtain the recognition of performance from the professionals and the public. It is actually the long term goal facilitates a spot in the stardom. Some may argue that the industry itself favours short term gain and recognition, but I hold the opposite position. Patience and realistic goals are crucial to the yet-to-be-star. When they start to set foot in the industry, many need to take years of training before they can be ready to present to the public. Korean singing groups, in particular, start they training at a very young age. Say a twelve-year-old trainee, if he has long term goals, he could regard the exhausting daily practice as steps needed to prepare himself to make a debut. If he has a realistic goals, like mastering a move, one dance, or one song before he could impress the audience with his performance, he could endure the monotonous drilling. However, if the aforementioned teen aims to gain immediate fame, he would be disheartened at the beginning of the training. The long time, say five to ten years, preparation before his debut would become so insufferable that he might give up pretty soon, thinking that the path is not for him.”

然后下两段可以讲其他的产业

—Likewise, in the business industry, long-term realistic goals is the prerequisite of success.

—It is even more true in academic field that long term goal facilitates major academic achievement.

误区三：例子没有支持理由，如：

Issue 51.

Young people should be encouraged to pursue long-term, realistic goals rather than seek immediate fame and recognition.年轻人应该被鼓励追求长远且现实的目标，而不是寻觅立刻的名声和认可。

段落习作：

“For most of the young people, it is beneficial to pursue long term and realistic goals in their work areas since they can hone their personalities through this process…Take Jack Ma as an example, since he set a goal of enlarging his company into comprehensive company with more than ten thousand people in ten years. He had to cherish time and schedule better, care more about his colleagues" working condition and thus, became a more charming person. By ignoring the immediate fame or recognition can he or she keep real and focus more on his or hers work. If someone was engaged with immediate fame or lionization from colleagues, he is of great possibility to regard personal statue building as the most important part of work. To make matter worse, he may ignore the core of the work and thus become less efficiently. Although it is arbitrary to against the possibility of successfully gaining fame, we can still draw a conclusion that this part of people can hardly improve their abilities and personalities. ”

Domino 点评：

举例论证是为了支持理由，我们在展开过程中需要选择最能支持理由的细节。这里理由是“长远目标更有好处，因为它可以让年轻人磨练个性”（当然“磨练个性”的理由是否足够有力支持中心论点，这个也需要商榷），因此例子需要能直接支持这个理由，是这个的具体化，而马爸爸的例子中， “becaming a charming person” 和“hone personality”无法匹配，建议例子改成

“Jack Ma failed several times before he rises up as a role model amid Chinese entrepreneurs. For the first three years, his start-up was doomed. Ma was denied of immediate success or recognition in the market. Yet, it’s the long-term realistic goal that helps Ma persisted through.”

误区四：例子形式化，没有内容，如

Issue 70.

Claim: Universities should require every student to take a variety of courses outside the student"s major field of study.

立场：大学应该要求每个学生修专业之外的各种课程。

Reason: Acquiring knowledge of various academic disciplines is the best way to become truly educated.

理由：获取各种各样的学科知识是最好的实现真正受教育的方式。

段落习作：

“Also, the meaning of become truly educated includes that students have the ability to cope with their future career problem. …Due to the increasingly intense employment situation, students should have different skills to deal with their future employment. For example, they may work in a field that is not in consisting with what they learn in college for some reason, in other words, they may find a job that is not related to their major, so in this situation, students who have taken some courses that out of their major in college will have a great advantage. Also, every new employee wants to become the backbone, which is the management level of a company. However, being a manager of a company require not only some expertise, so for those who have already taken some business or manpower courses in university are more easily get the favor of their superior.”

Domino 点评：

例子是对观点的支持，无论是真实的事例还是假设的案例，都需要是观点的具体化，不能敷衍的用“some” “certain” 。即便是假想的例子，也需要是能够客观存在的情况，如

“A computer science major may end up working in an art design start-up. Apart from the basic programming skills, he also need interpersonal skills to cooperate with other colleagues, and management skills if he intends to get a promotion. If he had taken courses on management and business, he would have more competitive edge to fit in and gain recognition.”

...

任何备考都是一样的，根据考试要求来应对和练习才最有效

因此，除了要避开雷区外，我们要知道GRE的六大写作要求

本周Domino 会进行一次线上讲座

细致分析Issue 的写作要求

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