『五大联赛预测神-体育新闻』炸裂！总裁这一脚等得好辛苦，致敬 "

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#以下评论皆来自reddit

ON：尤文图斯 0-3 皇家马德里

[–]【Swindon Town】GRI23 546 points 5 hours ago

Ronaldo should be the new MILF hunter with how much he loves fucking Old Ladies.

总裁新一代熟女杀手，每次逮着老妇人都往死里干。

[–]【Arsenal】EdRattlehead 143 points 5 hours ago

Taking over from his mate Rooney

深得鲁尼真传

[–]【Manchester United】OldTough 429 points 5 hours ago

Good thinking from Ramos to get a yellow to avoid the dead rubber next week.

领张黄牌，下周无聊的第二回合就可以高挂免战牌了，水爷真机智。

[–]duedo30 183 points 5 hours ago

10000 iq yellow card

智商10000点的黄牌

[–]【Liverpool】IanCaesars 710 points 5 hours ago

We knew we are weak in defence and mentally fragile.

-Giorgio Chiellini

我们知道我们防守有问题，而且精神也很脆弱。——基耶利尼（本来是椰子说热刺的一句评论）

[–]【Tottenham Hotspur】Spursfan14 292 points 5 hours ago

His error on the 2nd goal that started the whole collapse too.

他第二球的失误开启了尤文的整个崩盘。

[–]【West Ham United】Lovebanter 114 points 5 hours ago

I invest so much time and energy into hating Ronaldo and he goes and does this every time

我花了那么多时间和精力来恨C罗，结果他每次都这么操作

[–]【Italy】andruil 152 points 5 hours ago

At least we can drive league home safely now ˉ_(ツ)_/ˉ

Didn"t rate CL anyway...

Also Juve - Real tie is considered boring without at least one Puskas contender goal.

起码现在我妇可以稳稳把联赛带回家了 ˉ_(ツ)_/ˉ

反正一直都觉得欧冠没啥大不了的……

以及，尤文对皇马的比赛里出个普斯卡什级别的进球已经是常规操作了。

[–]【Liverpool】_ronty12_ 470 points 5 hours ago

UCL Quarter Final Goals

Cristiano Ronaldo:22 Juventus:21

A stat which says it all

欧冠半决赛进球数

C罗：22，尤文：21

数据说明了一切

[–]【Manchester United】skipatomskip 157 points 5 hours ago

If he keeps having kids and earning a ton of money he may buy/make his own team of Ronaldo"s

要是他不停生孩子，然后还能赚一大笔钱的话，他说不定能组一支全罗班

[–]【Internazionale】Smugleaf_Raptors2012 73 points 5 hours ago

Ronaldo United C.F

罗纳尔多联

[–]【Boca Juniors】GumerBaby 205 points 6 hours ago

If they win the cup again I will stop watching the CL.

要是皇马再冠，我就不看欧冠了。

[–]【Paris Saint-Germain】Wayn_ 232 points 6 hours ago

Friendly reminder that r/soccer said that this Real Madrid was one of the worst RM team we seen

友情提示，话题区之前还说这是我们见过的最差的一支皇马

REPLAY： 3" C罗接传中抢射破门

[–]【FC Porto】joaopvm 453 points 7 hours ago

Took him long enough

花了他这么久才进球

[–]【Barcelona】CoMmUnIsTdOmO 1893 points 7 hours ago

Here we go again

又是这熟悉的节奏

[–]【England】DoumbiasBaby 748 points 7 hours ago

theyre gonna win it 3 in a row

三连冠的节奏

[–]【United States】iamnotaliciakeys 467 points 7 hours ago

i have a feeling this is the year we’ll get an El Clásico final. and i have a feeling Ronaldo will score like 6 more en route to the final.

我深刻觉得今年的决赛会是国家德比。我还有感觉C罗在进决赛之前还能进6个。

[–]【Chelsea】anakmager 781 points 7 hours ago

can you imagine if Ronaldo scores a hattrick in to win the El Clasico final, but Messi wins the World Cup knocking out Portugal along the way

Messi-Ronaldo arguments would reach astronomical levels of toxicity

你能想象要是C罗帽子戏法赢下国家德比欧冠决赛，然后梅西拿到世界杯，中途还淘汰了葡萄牙吗？

到时候梅罗之争的激烈程度要达到天文指数级别

[–]【Feyenoord】altijdbeter 349 points 8 hours ago

benzema shielding off 2 defenders is so important. ronaldo scores but benzema deserves a lot of credit too

这球本泽马的挡拆也很重要啊。球是C罗进的，但是本泽马也必须要赞一个

[–]【Manchester United】DarkSofter 740 points 8 hours ago

Oh cmon fuck off when will this end

妈的我日了啊，皇马有完没完了

[–]【Utrecht】El_Giganto 416 points 8 hours ago

Nothing United could have done, but selling him was absolutely not worth it. Even at that time, if Real spend 5 times what they actually spend it would have been worth the fee.

曼联这叫天叫地也没用啊，但是当年卖C罗是亏大了。就算那时候，要是皇马付当年5倍的价钱买了C罗那还是完全值得的。

[–]【Manchester United】Ghost51 506 points 8 hours ago*

Tbf it would have been insulting to Ronaldo not to. Fergie wrote that Ronaldo asked to move to real, but Ferguson asked for one more season before he"d allow it. Ronaldo played his ass off and didn"t sulk cough mahrez cough and got his dream move next season.

但说真的，要是不让C罗走那就太侮辱人了。爵爷书里写C罗要走，但是爵爷让他再多打一个赛季。C罗拼了命打了一个赛季（咳咳，马赫雷斯，说你呢），接着那个赛季他实现了自己的梦想。

[–]【Leicester City】leicesterfarian 201 points 8 hours ago

Mahrez has played well this season. He’s had a couple of blips in the transfer windows but definitely hasn’t sulked.

马赫雷斯这赛季打得很好。虽然转会闹得很大但是绝对没有偷懒的。

[–]【Real Madrid】boky91 1015 points 8 hours ago

I was told Juventus had a good defense.

都说尤文的防线很吊的。

[–]【Chelsea】xyzTr1LL 605 points 8 hours ago

And I was told bitcoin will make me a millionaire.

还有人跟我说买比特币能发财呢。

[–]【Manchester United】Jeffy29 261 points 8 hours ago

Should have invested in Ronaldcoin

你应该买罗纳尔多币

REPLAY： 64" 你懂的

[–]【Liverpool】artie_fresh 4330 points 7 hours ago

The man hates Gigi

C罗是真的恨布冯

[–]【Manchester United】Diss1dent 563 points 7 hours ago

That was his 10th attempt at goal against Buffon. Buffon has saved 1 attempt so far.

这是C罗对布冯的第10脚射门。布冯至今只扑出了一次。

[–]【Arsenal】_LameName 145 points 7 hours ago

Wow! That"s an impressive stat.

哇！布冯这数据太惊艳了。

[–]【Manchester United】wrdb2007 1038 points 7 hours ago

Feel sorry for Gigi

Literally couldn"t do a thing

为布冯点蜡

这你根本没办法

[–]【Arsenal】Jokolape 446 points 7 hours ago

His face said it all, nobody in the world could have done anything. Marks a truly special goal

布冯的表情说明了一切，这球绝对无解。说明了这球到底有多强

[–]【Real Madrid】SourV 1379 points 7 hours ago

Ronaldo just retired Buffon with that goal.

C罗这球直接劝退布冯了吧。

[–]otaku_helicopter 5919 points 7 hours ago

ok pack it up bois

好了小伙子们收工了

[–]【Liverpool】GimmeTacos2 3167 points 7 hours ago

Even the juve fans were clapping

连尤文球迷都鼓掌了

[–]【FC Porto】joaopvm 2649 points 7 hours ago

An "and then everyone clapped" story that is actually true

所以博内拉那个“掌声经久不息”的故事是真的啊

[–]【Barcelona】Granit_93 1415 points 7 hours ago

Are you actually serious?

你是认真的吗？

[–]【Argentina】guest60229 803 points 7 hours ago

and dybala gets sent off 2 min later, juve are finished.

加上2分钟之后迪巴拉下去了，尤文结束了。

[–]【Barcelona】gnrc 204 points 7 hours ago

I turned it off after Ronaldo’s second, what happened with Dybala?

C罗进完我就不看了，迪巴拉又是咋回事？

[–]【Be?ikta?】Isa_Yilmaz 518 points 7 hours ago

sent off 2 minutes after

不是说了2分钟之后下去了吗

[–]【Barcelona】gnrc 131 points 7 hours ago

Right but for what?

我知道，但是为什么？

[–]【Tottenham Hotspur】bpmo 173 points 7 hours ago

High boot into Carvajal. Pretty similar to the one Nani got sent off for years back against Madrid.

高抬腿踹了卡瓦哈尔。跟当年纳尼打皇马被罚下那球很像。

[–]【Manchester United】itschrisbrah 188 points 7 hours ago

Except this was a second yellow

除了这次不是直红以外

[–]【Celtic】pFx95 906 points 7 hours ago

Standing ovation from the Juve fans. No wonder. Stunning.

尤文球迷起立鼓掌。常规操作。天神下凡。

[–]【Real Madrid】bewarethegap 4545 points 7 hours ago

HE WAITED HIS ENTIRE CAREER FOR THAT

C罗千年等一回，就等这一球了！

[–]【Liverpool】Pantherion 1979 points 7 hours ago

Even the entire Juventus stadium were applauding. That"s when you know you"ve done some unbelievable shit.

即便全场的尤文球迷都在鼓掌。这时候你知道自己做了些非常夸JB张的事情了。

[–]【Kerala Blasters】ItPains 400 points 7 hours ago*

The goal, Juventus fans applauding, Ronaldo"s bow to the crowd.

It has to be one of the greatest moments of UEFA history.

进球、尤文球迷致意、C罗的鞠躬。

这会是欧冠历史上的经典一幕。

[–]【Chelsea】curious_Jo 145 points 6 hours ago

A magician like Zidane grabbing his head in disbelief.

连齐达内这个老法师都看懵逼了。

[–]【Manchester United】OldTough 491 points 7 hours ago

Zidane rubbing his bald head in disbelief lol

齐达内懵逼地摸摸头哈哈哈哈

[–]【Borussia Dortmund】fueledbywhiskey 7842 points 7 hours ago

Greatest tap in I"ve seen not gonna lie

邮局港剧，这是我见过的最屌的推空门了

[–]【Juventus】BigJammy 711 points 7 hours ago

I"m not even mad.

没脾气。

[–]lmmaculate_Ejaculate 364 points 7 hours ago

Me last year when Mandzukic scored tbh

就像去年被曼珠进那球时候一样

[–]【Barcelona】rahejalol 824 points 7 hours ago

What the fuck what a goal

真他娘的漂亮

[–]【Real Madrid】MrT-1000 388 points 7 hours ago

He"s tried that shot so many times and it happens against Juve in the champions league out of fooking nowhere; absolutely unbelievable.

C罗试了那么久，最后竟然是对尤文的欧冠淘汰赛里就这么刷出来了，你敢信。

[–]【Portland Timbers】Charlie_Wax 167 points 7 hours ago

He couldn"t let Zlatan have the spotlight for too long.

Expect Messi to score a scorpion kick from the halfway line tomorrow.

C罗要从伊布手里抢回头条位置。

我就指着明天梅西中场位置蝎子摆尾进球了。

[–]【Chelsea】TA125934 1234 points 7 hours ago

OH MY GODD

天了噜

[–]FoxySaint 489 points 7 hours ago

Bicycle Tap in

倒钩推空门见过没

[–]【Portugal】Portugal1France0 240 points 7 hours ago

From the penalty spot as per usual.

从点球点位置，坐下坐下常规操作。

[–]【Manchester United】miamibuckeye 781 points 7 hours ago

Juve fans applauding it. What the fuck else do you do

尤文球迷都鼓掌了。你还能做什么

[–]【Borussia Dortmund】hampl14 116 points 7 hours ago

Such a behavioural attitude shows the true love of football, Hats off Juventus Fans

尤文球迷如此有教养的行为，这才是对足球的真爱，向尤文球迷致敬

[–]Mexter-Dorgan 220 points 7 hours ago

Look at Barzagli. Just doesn"t even know what to do after that absurdity except throw up his hands.

看看巴尔扎利。被进完之后完全没反应了，只能来一个手动滑稽。

[–]【Portsmouth】AnonymousSixSixSix 779 points 7 hours ago

Ohhhhhhhh

哇哇哇哇哇哇

REPLAY： 72" 马塞洛同C罗配合后破门

[–]【Manchester United】OldTough 554 points 7 hours ago

I thought this was gonna be a close game

我还以为这场比赛会很接近的

[–]【Real Madrid】thefoxy15 487 points 7 hours ago

It is a closed game for Juventus now.

现在对尤文来说是很接近……出局了。

[–]【Manchester United】efribble 1065 points 7 hours ago

Real Madrid and Champions league is just unfair

皇马和欧冠简直是作弊

[–]【Real Madrid】Number333 563 points 7 hours ago

It"s like all the pent-up frustration of the mid 2000s is being unleashed.

感觉2000年中期所有的不顺现在都找回来了。

[–]zyndr0m 433 points 7 hours ago

Ah it"s almost like watching last years finals

啊这就跟去年看决赛时候差不多

[–]【Real Madrid】djkamayo 177 points 7 hours ago

But with more blood

但是更加血腥

[–]【Chile】GioMeow 615 points 7 hours ago

Press F to pay respect.

按下F以表达你的哀悼。

[–]【Real Madrid】Gumbo72 105 points 7 hours ago

[–]【Real Madrid】K4ntum 45 points 7 hours ago

[–]【Borussia Dortmund】LordVelaryon 25 points 7 hours ago

[–]【West Bromwich Albion】Henrietta_Boner 33 points 7 hours ago

[–]【Newcastle United】hazzajepson 18 points 7 hours ago

[–]【Liverpool】Haxez 23 points 7 hours ago

[–]【Barcelona】TopographyDog 14 points 7 hours ago

[–]【Manchester United】DarkSofter 253 points 7 hours ago

How can a team play so well and be down 0-3...

一支球队踢得这么好却0-3落后，这是怎么做到的……

[–]RRush- 371 points 7 hours ago

by playing real madrid

这是皇马做到的

[–]【Real Madrid】boky91 434 points 7 hours ago

Selfishnaldo

自私罗

[–]【FC Porto】lilkami 88 points 7 hours ago

Nothing but a poacher

只会抢点

[–]【Olympique Lyonnais】abedtime 34 points 7 hours ago

Basically a budget Inzaghi

就是个廉价版因扎吉

[–]【Real Madrid】UsernameReIevant 210 points 7 hours ago

OK STOP THEY"RE ALREADY DEAD

好了，别整了，尤文已经凉了

[–]【Tottenham Hotspur】bretticus33 195 points 7 hours ago

No keep going please

别停，给我往死里整