情感特征有哪些方面（情绪情感与生理变化的关系） _特征

情感虐待的多种表现形式

KEY POINTS
Spotting the signs of emotional abuse can be difficult, because it can wear many hats. However, recognition is essential for healing.
有时很难识别情感虐待迹象，因为它有很多不同表现形式。但识别，对于痊愈而言，是关键一步。Some emotionally abusive tactics are overt, such as blatant attempts to control or intimidate another person.
一些情感虐待行为是很明显的，比如明目张胆地试图控制或恐吓他人。Emotional abusers can sometimes use subtle tactics like shifting blame or giving someone the silent treatment.
情感虐待者有时会采用不明显的策略，比如反向指责或者冷暴力。
There are many faces of emotional abuse. Below are names for each face, which may help you identify these patterns in people you know, or even in yourself. You won’t recognize every face, but you should recognize at least one. That face may be one of a parent, sibling, extended family member, spouse, friend, or coach. You may come to see one of the faces as one that looks back at you in the mirror.
情感虐待有很多种，以下是各种情感暴力的名称，这些名称可能会帮助你识别别人或者你自己的行为模式。你不会每一种都感到熟悉，但你应该会至少经历过其中一种，可能来自于父母、兄弟姐妹，亲戚、配偶、朋友或教练，甚至来自于你自己。
While recognizing emotional abuse can be difficult, it is an essential step to healing. Let’s look at 10 different faces of emotional abusers and uncover their traits.
尽管识别情感虐待并不简单，但它是通向痊愈的关键一步。接下来我们来看情感虐待者的十种类型，深入了解他们的特征。
01The Commander-in-Chief
总指挥官
Emotional abuse often takes the form of allowing one person to control another, all the while denying that control is the ultimate objective. With a Commander-in-Chief, however, control is openly understood as the objective.
情感虐待通常会表现为一个人控制另一个人，但同时又一直否认其终极目标是为了控制对方。但对于“总指挥官”类型的情感虐待者，他们毫不避讳地承认其目的就是为了控制。
The Commander-in-Chief does not attempt to hide the need for control. Phrases like these are heard often: “I said it and that settles it.” “There is no room for discussion.” Pronouncements are given, not reasons. When one person uses control to meet their own needs at the expense of another, that is emotionally abusive.
“总指挥官”并不试图遮掩他们对控制的需求。他们经常说：“我已经说了，就这么决定了。”“没有讨论空间”等。他们给出命令，但并不会给出理由。当一个人不顾及别人，使用控制手段来满足个人需求时，这就是一种情感虐待。
02The Overbearing Opinion
独断专行
The Overbearing Opinion has a way of sucking all the discussion out of a room, suffocating the opinions of others. The Overbearing Opinion does not view his or her opinion as an opinion; rather, he or she views that “opinion” as an incontrovertible fact.
独断专行者不会听取其他任何意见，不给人任何讨论的机会。他们并不认为自己的意见是一种意见，而是将其认为是一种不容争辩的事实。
The Overbearing Opinion seeks to quash discussion or disagreement in order to gain compliance, which is another word for control. This disregard for the opinions and feelings of others is emotionally abusive.
他们会通过打压讨论或异见的方式，试图获得他人顺从，这也是“控制”的另一种表现形式。这种将别人意见或感受至于不顾的行为，也是一种情感虐待。
03The Ventaholic
语言泄愤成瘾者
The Ventaholic has a pattern of heated, verbal rants. Once started, these rants don’t seem to diminish; they seem to gather steam. Innocuous incidents can set them off because that person is like a volcano, boiling inside with the ongoing pressures of life. When those pressures are triggered, out spews a caustic verbal tirade that's less about what’s just happened on the outside and more about what’s fighting to escape on the inside.
语言泄愤成瘾者动辄以语言形式泄愤。一旦开始，这种泄愤之语并不会逐渐消退，只会越来越激烈。任何无伤大雅的小事都会触发他们，因为这类人就像是一座火山，持续不断的生活压力在他们内心沸腾翻滚。当这些压力被触发，这些充满腐蚀性的泄愤之语就会喷涌而出，相比较外部发生的事情，这些泄愤之语更多的源于他们内心那些试图想要逃逸而出的压力。
While many of us succumb to this kind of venting on rare occasions, anger becomes a default setting for that person, with the internal filter always pointed toward life as being unfair, unreasonable, or unjust. When enraged, the Ventaholic feels vindicated, powerful, invincible, and in control. Life has robbed them of whatever they feel they lack. They will angrily demand restitution from just about anyone, including those closest to them.
尽管我们在一些时候都会选择这种以语言泄愤的形式，但对于语言泄愤成瘾者，愤怒已经成为他们的默认设置，他们总是认为生活是不公平的、不合理的、不正义的。当发怒时，他们感到一种正义感、强大感、无往不胜感和控制感。他们认为自己所缺乏的一切都是被生活剥夺了，他们会愤怒地要求几乎所有人补偿他们，其中也包括他们身边最亲近之人。
04The Always Right
自以为是者
The Always Right can seem very similar to the Overbearing Opinion, but there is a distinction. While the Overbearing Opinion makes comments about everything, the Always Right waits and bides their time. They are selective, searching for opportunities to not only prove they are right but also that the other person is wrong.
自以为是者看起来会和独断专行者非常相似，但二者还是存在一种区别。尽管独断专行者对几乎所有事情都会表达自己的看法，自以为是者则会静待时机。他们会选择合适的机会，让他们不仅能够证明自己是对的，同时还要证明别人是错的。
Living with someone who is Always Right can be extraordinarily frustrating. If there’s a difference of opinion and you’re proven right, then the Always Right will shrug that situation off, as if it’s not really that important. However, if you’re proven wrong, you hear about it early and often.
与自以为是者一起生活，会令人极其沮丧。如果你们意见不一致，而且事实证明你是对的，那么自以为是者就会不以为意，仿佛这件事情根本没那么重要。但是，如果事实证明你是错的，自以为是者立马就会指出来，而且会经常提起这件事。
Because of the difficulty of dealing with someone who is Always Right, you may disregard your own decisions and just go with what the other person wants to do. When that happens, the other person gains control of the relationship and is able to perpetuate their emotional abuse.
由于应对自以为是者是一件很棘手的事情，所以你可能就会放弃自己的决定，听从于对方的想法。但当你这样做时，对方就获得了对你们之间关系的控制权，从而能够一直延续这种情感虐待行为。
05The Intimidator
恐吓者
An Intimidator asserts control through issuing threats. Sometimes those threats are issued at the top of their lungs and other times they are conveyed through a whisper. Whether upfront or veiled, the threat is understood.
恐吓者通过威胁对方的方式来确定自己的控制地位。有时他们是通过大吼大叫的方式给予威胁，有时则是通过轻声低语。无论是通过明显或是含蓄方式，对方都明白自己被威胁了。
Generally, there are two types of Intimidators. The first type is all wind but no substance. They issue dire proclamations of what they are going to do but never seem to get around to doing it. The other type of Intimidator is one who means every word they say and backs it up with action. These are the type of people that others fear—at home, at school, or in the workplace.
通常有两种类型的恐吓者。第一种是外强中干类型。他们说出恶狠狠的威胁之语，但从来不会将其付诸实践。另一种则是说到做到类型，他们会执行自己说出的每一句话。后一种是人们所害怕的类型——无论是在家中、在学校或者在职场。
06The Silent Treatment
冷暴力
The Silent Treatment comes with variations. Sometimes, the person refuses to speak to the other person. Other times, the person refuses to allow the other person to speak. Conversation is held captive. The person who engages in the silent treatment may physically withdraw from the other person or remain in proximity but hold him- or herself aloof and unapproachable. The message, however, is clear in all these forms—I refuse to interact with you because you are not worthy.
冷暴力有不同表现形式。有时，冷暴力者拒绝和对方说话。有时，冷暴力者不允许对方说话。对话被限制。冷暴力者可能会远离对方，也或者虽然依旧在对方周围，但却拒绝和对方互动。不管各种形式，所传递出来的信息是很明显的：我拒绝和你互动，因为你不配。
07The Historian
“历史学家”
Historians are a repository of every bad thing they think you’ve ever said or done, real or imagined. The details of your failure are categorized and logged, ready to be brought up as evidence against you. Putting the past behind you is not an option for a Historian. The Historian always keeps your faults front and center to deflect attention away from their own faults.
“历史学家”是指那些爱翻旧账者，无论翻的旧账是你真正做过的还是他们想象出来的。他们会将你所做的所有“令他们失望”之处分门别类记下来，随时准备拎出来作为证据来攻击你。他们永远不会“既往不咎” 。他们总是将你的错误拎出来摆在“C位” ，以此来转移别人对他们所犯错误的关注。
08The Guilt Shifter
内疚转移者
For Guilt Shifters, the most important person is the one to whom they can shift blame. Without that person, Guilt Shifters would become responsible for their own decisions and failures. Such a burden is viewed as too great, so another, more vulnerable person is chosen to bear the guilt.
对于内疚转移者而言，最重要的人是那位可以为他们背锅的人。没有那个人，内疚转移者就需要对自己的决定和失败负责。这种负担对他们来说太沉重，因此，他们就需要选择一个更软弱的人来帮他们担负他们的内疚感。
As they watch the other person strangle on all that guilt, they can feel a perverted sense of satisfaction. After all, they think, you’re responsible for their pain, so why shouldn’t you feel the pain yourself? If you are responsible for their pain, then they should have the right to tell you what and how much you need to do to make up for it.
当他们看着对方备受这种内疚的折磨时，他们会感到一种变态的满足感。他们认为：毕竟，是你导致了他们感到痛苦，那么你就该自己去感受到这种痛苦。如果是你导致了他们的痛苦，那么他们就有权利告诉你你需要怎么做，需要做多少，来补偿他们。
09The Illusionist
幻象魔术师
Illusionists are usually very good with words. They are good with their own words: defining, defending, excusing, explaining. They are good with the words of others: bending them, shaping them, twisting them around. After going three rounds with an Illusionist, you’re not sure which end is up.
幻象魔术师通常巧舌如簧。他们不仅对自己的言行巧舌如簧：定义、捍卫、开脱、解释，他们对别人的话语也同样能够给予“高超”解读：歪曲、重塑、扭曲等。与一个空想家较量三回合之后，你往往就失去自己判断力了。
If you are in a relationship with an Illusionist, you start to doubt your judgment, which is the point. Once you doubt your own judgment, the Illusionist is in a better position to force you to adopt his or hers.
如果你和一位“幻象魔术师”待在一起，你会开始质疑自己的判断，而这也恰恰是对方的目的所在。一旦你开始质疑自己的判断，对方就更容易强迫你接受他/她的看法。
10The Judge and Jury
法官与陪审团
There is an incongruous instability to a Judge and Jury because often, the person doesn’t just administer the law, they change it. What was perfectly acceptable on a Wednesday might not be on that Friday.
对于“法官与陪审团”类型的人而言，他们会表现出言行的前后不一致和不稳定性。他们不仅执行法律，而且还修改法律。周三还完全可以接受的事情，可能周五就变成了大错特错。
A Judge and Jury abuser is only concerned with the outcome of the decision, which is what they want to happen at any given time. The only consistency is their inconsistency. This inconsistency prevents another person from having the stability and surety of a healthy relationship. A person who lives under this system never knows from day to day what to anticipate, except disappointment.
这类人永远只关心“审判结果” ，而且这种审判结果一定要始终如他们所愿。他们唯一不变的，就是他们的善变。而他们的这种善变，也就导致另一个人无法获得一段健康关系中应该存在的稳定性和确定性。处于在这种关系中的人永远不知道接下来可能会发生什么，除了肯定会感到失望。
If you or a loved one is suffering from emotional abuse, there is help for both the abuser and the abused. A professional treatment program can be very effective in changing abusive patterns.
【情感特征有哪些方面（情绪情感与生理变化的关系）】如果你或者你所爱的某个人正遭受情感虐待，那么无论对于施虐者或受害者，都是可以接受帮助的。专业的治疗方案会对各种虐待行为模式十分有效。

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