职场英语学习|双语| 弱点更能展示个人魅力——美丽凌乱效应

_本文原题：双语| 弱点更能展示个人魅力——美丽凌乱效应

本文插图
Over the past year, visitors to the Rubin Museum of Art in New York City have been revealing their deepest fears and wishes.
在过去的一年里，纽约鲁宾艺术博物馆组织了一项特别的活动——让参观者说出他们最深切的愿望和恐惧。
As part of a special exhibit, museum-goers were invited to write down their secrets on small pieces of vellum paper and hang the entries on a wall for everyone to see.
作为展览的一部分，参观者受邀在小片牛皮纸上写下他们的秘密，并将它们贴在墙上让每个人都能看到。
On one side, people posted their anxieties; on the other side, their hopes.
在墙的一面，人们表达了自己的焦虑；在墙的另一面，则贴着他们的希望。
Thousands of visitors contributed lines like,
人们在这里自愿暴露了自己的弱点和缺点：
I’m anxious because I’m afraid I’ll die alone,
“我很焦虑，因为我害怕自己会孤独终老”；
I’m anxious because I might miss my chance to become a mom,
“我很焦虑，因为我可能会错过做妈妈的机会”；
I’m anxious because I don’t have a home for my boys
“我焦虑是因为自己不能给儿子们一个家”；
I’ve relapsed three times since trying to become sober
“自从我试图戒酒以来，已经复发了三次”；
I feel like I disappoint everyone in my life.
“我觉得自己让生命中的每个人都失望了”
……
These more than 50,000 entries expressed thoughts that many people wouldn’t otherwise share publicly due to fear of rejection and shame. But psychological research suggests that such fear can be overblown in people’s minds.
这5万多张字条表达了很多人因为害怕被拒绝和羞愧而不愿公开的想法。但心理学研究表明，这种恐惧在人们的头脑中可能被夸大了。
Often, there’s a mismatch between how people perceive their vulnerabilities and how others interpret them. We tend to think showing vulnerability makes us seem weak, inadequate, and flawed—a mess.
通常，人们如何看待自己的弱点与他人如何解读它们之间存在很大差异。我们自己倾向于认为，展示弱点会让我们显得软弱、不足、有缺陷、一团糟。
But when others see our vulnerability, they might perceive something quite different, something alluring. A recent set of studies calls this phenomenon “the beautiful mess effect.”
但是，当别人看到我们的弱点时，他们可能会察觉到一些完全不同的东西，一些诱人的东西——最近的一组研究称这种现象为 “美丽凌乱效应” 。
It suggests that everyone should be less afraid of opening up—at least in certain cases.
这表明，至少在某些情况下，每个人都不应该对展示自己的弱点感到如此担心。
“脆弱”是人性的
The researchers—Anna Bruk, Sabine G. Scholl, and Herbert Bless of the University of Mannheim in Germany—found evidence for the beautiful mess effect across six studies involving hundreds of participants.
德国曼海姆大学的研究人员安娜·布鲁克（Anna Bruk）、萨宾娜·肖尔（Sabine G. Scholl）和赫伯特·布莱斯（Herbert Bless）在涉及数百名参与者的6项研究中均发现了 “美丽凌乱效应”的踪迹。分页标题
Inspired by the work of Brené Brown, a professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work who popularized the importance of vulnerability in her books and ted Talks, Bruk and her colleagues define vulnerability as
受到布琳·布朗（Brené Brown ，休斯顿大学社会工作研究所教授，她致力于通过书和TED演讲来宣传推广“脆弱”的重要性）研究工作的启发，布鲁克和同事们把“脆弱”定义为：
the willingness to expose yourself emotionally to another person despite being afraid and despite the risks.
尽管害怕，尽管有风险，你仍然愿意在情感上向他人表露自己。
In their studies, the team asked participants to imagine themselves in a variety of vulnerable situations— such as
在研究过程中，研究团队要求参与者想象自己处于各种脆弱的环境中：
【职场英语学习|双语| 弱点更能展示个人魅力——美丽凌乱效应】confessing romantic feelings to your best friend
向你最好的朋友坦白自己的恋情；
being the first to apologize to your romantic partner after a big fight
在和恋人大吵了一架之后首先向对方道歉；
admitting that you made a serious mistake to your team at work
向你的团队坦诚自己在工作中犯下了严重的错误。
结果发现：
When people imagined themselves in those situations, they tended to believe that showing vulnerability would make them appear weak and inadequate.
当事人角度：当人们想象自己处于这种情况时，他们往往认为表现出脆弱会让他们显得软弱和不称职。
But when people imagined someone else in those situations, they were more likely to describe showing vulnerability as “desirable” and “good.”
旁观者角度：但意想不到的是，当人们想象别人处于这种情况时，他们则更倾向于将表现脆弱描述为“可接纳的” ， “可以理解的” 。
The results, which were published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, lined up with Brown’s findings in her qualitative research that vulnerability is humanizing.
该研究结果发表在《人格与社会心理学杂志》上，与布朗在定性研究中的发现一致，即脆弱是人性化的。
“We love seeing raw truth and openness in other people,” Brown writes in her book Daring Greatly, “but we’re afraid to let them see it in us.”
布朗在她的书《勇敢依旧》（ Daring Greatly ）中写道： “我们希望看到别人真诚并敞开心扉，自己反而做不到。 ”
另一个有趣的实验：
In another study,
Bruk and her team invited students into the lab and broke them into two groups. Those in one group were asked (vulnerability alert!) to sing an improvised song in front of a jury, while those in the other were asked to serve as members of that jury.It was a bluff; in the end, no one sang or judged. But before the participants realized that they were being had, they answered some questions about vulnerability.
布鲁克和研究团队邀请学生进入实验室，并将他们分成两组：一组被要求在评审团面前唱一首即兴歌曲，而另一组被要求作为评审团成员，这只是场景假设。最后，没有人唱歌，也没有人评头论足。但是在参与者意识到实验目的之前，回答了一些关于脆弱性的问题。
结果表明：分页标题
Those in the singing group saw their anticipated vulnerability more negatively, endorsing statements such as “When I show my vulnerability, other people find it repellant” and “I should avoid showing my vulnerability.”
被要求唱歌的人把自己的预期弱点看得更消极，他们赞同这样的说法——比如， “当我表现出自己的弱点时，其他人会觉得很反感” “我应该避免表现出自己的弱点”……
The judges were far more generous when they evaluated the vulnerability of the singers, saying that their singing would be a sign of “strength” and “courage.”
反而，评委们在评价歌手的弱点时则要慷慨得多，他们表示，歌手的演唱是“力量”和“勇气”的象征。
这两个研究都表明，相对于自我评价，你的“脆弱”在别人眼里更能被理解。
人类大脑如何处理信息？
To find out why this gap exists, Bruk and her team tested a theory about how the human mind processes information.
为了找出这种差距存在的原因，布鲁克和研究团队测试了一个关于人类大脑如何处理信息的理论：
We can take a wider perspective that allows us to see not just the bad, but the good as well.
They found that when we think about our own vulnerability, it’s more concrete and real, because we are so close to it. Under that magnified perspective, our imperfections are clearer, and it’s easier to identify everything that might go wrong.
But when we think about another person’s vulnerability, it’s more distant and abstract.
但当我们思考他人的弱点时，它就显得更加遥远和抽象。
所以，在分析自己的时候，视野应该更广阔一些，使自己不仅能看到不好的一面，也能看到好的一面。
Research beyond Bruk’s and Brown’s generally supports the notion that people tend to admire vulnerability in others. When people show vulnerability at school or work, such as by asking for advice and help, they appear more competent to their advisers and supervisors—and opening up in personal relationships can even make people fall in love with each other.
除了布鲁克和布朗，其他研究普遍支持这样一种观点，即人们倾向于欣赏他人的脆弱。当人们在工作中表现出脆弱时（比如寻求建议和帮助），他们在主管面前会显得更称职，营造开放坦诚的人际关系甚至会让人们彼此相爱。
不过， “示弱”是有条件的
But there are times when being vulnerable can backfire—when it comes across less as beauty and more as straight-up mess.
“美丽凌乱效应”并非永远成立，搞不好就出丑了！
A classic example is a 1966 experiment led by the psychologist Elliot Aronson.
一个典型的例子是1966年心理学家埃利奥特·阿伦森（Elliot Aronson）主导的一项实验。
Aronson and his colleagues had students listen to recordings of candidates interviewing to be part of a quiz-bowl team. Two of the candidates appeared smart by answering most of the questions right, while the other two answered only 30 percent correctly.
阿伦森研究团队将学生们分为两组，分别听一段参加知识竞赛的候选人面试录音。录音中的其中两位候选人在回答大部分问题时都表现得很聪明，而另外两位只答对了30%的问题。
Then, one group of students heard an eruption of noise and clanging dishes, followed by one of the smart candidates saying, “Oh my goodness—I’ve spilled coffee all over my new suit.” Another group of students heard the same clamor, but then heard one of the mediocre candidates saying he spilled the coffee.分页标题
紧接着，一组学生听到一阵喧闹声和盘子的叮当声，接着一位聪明的应试者说：“天哪，我把咖啡洒在自己的新衣服上了。 ”而另一组学生听到了同样的喧嚣声，但接着听到的是一个表现平庸的候选人说他把咖啡洒了。
Afterward, the students said they liked the smart candidate even more after he embarrassed himself. But the opposite was true of the mediocre candidate. The students said they liked him even less after seeing him in a vulnerable situation.
事后，学生们说他们更喜欢那个聪明的候选人（在他出丑后）。但平庸的候选人却恰恰相反——学生们说，看到他出丑后，他们更不喜欢他了。
In psychology, this is known as the “pratfall effect.”
在心理学上，这被称为 “出丑效应” 。
Responses to someone’s vulnerability largely seem to depend on how others perceive that person beforehand.
人们对一个人脆弱性的反应似乎很大程度上取决于之前对这个人的看法。
If she appears strong and capable before showing vulnerability, people are sympathetic;the vulnerability is humanizing, like that time Jennifer Lawrence tripped on her way to accept the Best Actress award at the 2013 Oscars.
如果他/她在表现出脆弱之前显得坚强而能干，人们会同情他/她；这种脆弱是人性化的，就像詹妮弗·劳伦斯（Jennifer Lawrence）在2013年奥斯卡最佳女主角颁奖典礼上摔倒一样。
But if the person doesn’t seem competent, people are repelled; she really does seem like a mess, nothing beautiful about it.
但如果一个人看起来不称职，人们就会排斥他/她——他/她看起来确实一团糟，一点也不漂亮。
The pratfall effect can be especially pronounced in the workplace.
“出丑效应”在工作场所尤其明显。
There’s been an overall push for people to open up and be “authentic.”But if you haven’t established your competence first, showing vulnerability can damage your credibility, says Lisa Rosh, a management professor at Lehman College of the City University of New York.
我们鼓励人们敞开心扉，做真实的自己，但纽约城市大学雷曼学院的管理学教授丽莎·罗什（Lisa Rosh）认为，如果你先前没有展示出自己的能力，那么表现脆弱会损害你的信誉。
For example, at one company Rosh studied, a woman introduced herself to her colleagues not by mentioning her credentials and education, but by talking about how she’d been awake the previous night caring for her sick baby. It took her months to reestablish her credibility.
例如，在罗什研究的一家公司里，一位女士向同事们介绍自己时，并没有提到她的学历和教育背景，而是说她前一天晚上是如何熬夜照顾生病孩子的。结果她花了几个月的时间才重新建立起自己的信誉。
Being overly familiar at work, Rosh says, can overwhelm others and make the vulnerable person appear needy and unstable.
罗什认为，在工作中表现得过于自来熟会让别人不知所措，使脆弱的人显得不可靠。
“示弱”打开人际交往的互动之门
Whether at work or on a date, it seems safest to show vulnerability within a relationship that has some history—in which there is reciprocal sharing and the connection between two people grows in tandem with the disclosures. And yet, the truth is there’s nothing really ever safe about being vulnerable—and that’s precisely what allows for a special connection in the first place. 分页标题
无论是工作还是约会，在一段有历史的、互惠分享的关系中表现出脆弱似乎是最安全的——而且两人之间的关系也会随着彼此弱点的暴露而增强。然而事实上，关于脆弱并没有什么真正的安全可言，但这正是一段特殊关系的开始。
When someone shares his hopes and anxieties on vellum paper, or admits to a mistake, or professes love to a friend at a café, that person is doing something risky, but the possibility of being hurt helps open the door to a more genuine, intimate interaction. Things might not work out in the person’s favor, but there’s still something rare and, indeed, beautiful about the gesture.
当有人分享自己的愿望和焦虑，或承认错误，或者在咖啡馆里对朋友表白时，他/她其实是在做一些冒险的事情，但受伤的可能性有助于开启一扇更真诚、更亲密的互动之门。
“Many of us feel like we’re barely keeping it together,” says Candy Chang, the artist who created A Monument for the Anxious and Hopeful with her partner, James A. Reeves. “But seeing some private corner of your psyche reflected in somebody else’s handwriting on a wall can be incredibly reassuring. It’s a reminder of the humanity in the faces around us.”
艺术家张凯蒂（Candy Chang）和搭档詹姆斯·里维斯（James A. Reeves）设计创建了一座焦虑和希望的“纪念碑”： “我们大多数人都不愿意展示自己的脆弱。但是在别人写的纸片上看到自己心灵的某个秘密角落，会让人难以置信地安心，它提醒着我们和大多数人一样。 ”