英语美文 | 为什么越长大越没朋友？ Recall your best friends in high sch

Recall your best friends in high school. What made you become friends in the first place? And how did all that start out? Maybe it was because you sat beside her on the first day of school, started to chat and just decided that hey, you guys did get along famously. So you became friends, spending time together during breaks and hanging out after school...Or maybe both of you were on the football team and there came to be a friendship.

回想你高中时期最好的朋友。是什么让你们成为了朋友？友情是怎么开始的？或许是因为在学校的第一天你们同桌，于是开始聊天，相处愉快，最后顺理成章变成了好朋友，休息时一起休息放学后一起玩耍。又或者你们两个都加入了足球队，于是友情就这样滋生了。

What drew you close and held your bonds of friendship together was a common experience. You were inthe same situation together. You understood each other. You reveled in each other"s success and shedtears over failures – slowly, this forged strong bonds.

共同的经历让你们成为朋友，维系着你们彼此的友情。你们有着相同的境遇，互相理解对方，庆祝彼此的成功，遗憾彼此的失败，慢慢地，这些种种形成了强大的纽带。

But now, years later, when the commonality has vanished, these bonds are fraying or may have already unraveled. Interests have diversified, passions have waned and that common thread that held you together has long been broken.

但是多年以后，当共性消失的时候，纽带慢慢磨损，或者可能已经断裂。随着朋友间兴趣变得多不同，友情之火已不似当初那般热烈，而曾经把你们聚集在一起的共同点已经消失。

Some friends stay because they share the same things deep, deep down

有些友情经久不衰，因为人们彼此间分享着更为深刻的东西

Most of us may have lost many of our childhood friends to changing scenarios and diversifying interests, but we still have a couple of good friends around.

因为经历和兴趣的改变，我们大多数人可能已经失去了许多童年的朋友，但是我们依旧还有那么几个好朋友。

Now you may not meet these gems every now and then and may actually talk to them just once in a while - but you know that they"ll always be there for you...It"s because of you and these friends of you share the same core values that form the basis of a deep and lasting friendship.

现在我们可能不会每时每刻都和这些朋友待在一起，只是偶尔聊聊天，但是你知道他们会一直在你身边。这是因为你和你的这些朋友有着相同的核心价值观，这是你们深厚而持久的友谊的基础。

You and your everlasting friends are very similar, deep deep down. It"s like you peel the layers ofprofessions and hobbies and likes and dislikes and you"ll find that you and this friend of yours are veryalike, in the most important things of life.

你和你一辈子的朋友在某些深层次方面非常相似。剥开了职业、兴趣、喜好、厌恶这些表层的东西，你会发现你和你的朋友在生活中重要的方面是非常相似的。

How to build friendship that will survive in adulthood

如何建立长久的友谊

They key to making lasting friendships is to get to know their deep, innermost thoughts before and youcan do this by not relying on your instinct and judgment but by asking questions.

建立持久友谊的关键是要了解彼此内心深处的想法，这样做就需要提出问题，而不是依靠自己的直觉和判断力来确定。

Ask stuff that will help reveal what they believe in, what they"re strongly against for, what is their ideal world, what is their ideal life, what are their top priorities in life… Since it may just prove to be a tad awkward to ask such questions, frame them in a sly way. Play a game of truth or dare, or something like that.

提问问题有助于了解他们的支持什么、反对什么，以及了解他们理想的世界是什么，理想的生活是什么，他们认为生活中最重要的是什么？这样直白地提问可能有些尴尬，我们可以换种聪明的方式提问。例如，借助玩真心话大冒险类似的方法。

Bear in mind that this method might not make us make friends more easily. Instead it might be even more difficult. The idea is not to make “more” friends, rather the “right” friends.

但请记住，这种方法可能不会使交朋友更容易。相反，它可能会让交友变得更加困难。这个点子不是为了让我们交“更多的”朋友，而是让我们交到“正确的”朋友。

You need to set your standards high so that you are able to be with the people that understand you,complement you and ultimately make you a happier person in a happier place. For when it comes to friendships, it"s not the quantity you should be concerned with, but the quality.

你需要设置一个高标准，以便能交到能理解你、完善你、最终让你更快乐的朋友。对于友谊而言，重要的是质量而非数量。

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