要过年了,那些洋媳妇洋女婿有多紧张？都去发帖求助了！哈哈... 还有三天就要过！年！啦！各位盆友大家

小帮有话说

还有两天就要过！年！啦！

各位盆友大家是不是是不是特别的兴奋呀！

毕竟期待了这么久

终于迎来了一年一度最盛大的节日

你们肯定会特别开心

然而在这样一个喜庆的节日氛围里

还有一小部分人却紧张到瑟瑟发抖

具体怎么回事呢？

请往下看！

对于许多人来说，如今这过年啊……还真是挺没意思的。

和亲戚朋友聚，聊天打牌，吃吃喝喝，被熊孩子闹腾一番，然后各自散去，在路上堵一番，回到工作/学习的岗位，周而复始，年复一年……

虽然这些毫无新意的小事已然十分温暖，但是……

年年这样过，还真是有点无聊啊！

只不过，过年这玩意儿咱们中国人是没啥新鲜感了，

但对于老外来说……那可就新鲜极了！

尤其是那些，和中国人结了婚，

第一次跟着中国丈夫/妻子回老家过春节的——洋媳妇和洋女婿们。

对于不少歪果仁来说，中国已经是个“遥远而神秘”的国度了，如今还要跟着中国的老公老婆一大家子过最重要的春节，感受到最原汁原味的中国节日习俗，

那真是……既兴奋又紧张啊！

这不，有个外国妹纸就在网上焦急地问了起来……

图via speakofchina.com

@Kelly:

I started teaching English in China this past fall, and met a wonderful Chinese man. I never expected to have a Chinese boyfriend, or expected it so soon! But we’ve been dating since October, and are very much in love.

我去年秋天起开始在中国教英语，也遇到了一个很棒的中国男子。我从没想过会有一个中国男票，至少不会这么快就有！我们自10月份就在一起了，感情非常好~

However, I am really starting to freak out because he asked me to spend Chinese New Year at his parents home. I am so concerned about meeting his parents. I know family is a really big deal in China, and it seems that if they don’t like me, my boyfriend and I don’t have a future.

不过啊……当男票要我今年春节和他一起回去过年时，我还真是有一点崩溃的。

要见他爸妈，这真的很纠结啊！我知道中国人很看重家庭，而且若是他爸妈不喜欢我的话，估计我们也没法继续走下去了。

I really need to impress them! I’ve only started learning Mandarin, so I’m barely proficient, but I guess a little is better than none at all.

我需要给他们二老留下好印象！

嗯，只能从学说普通话开始了，虽然我说得很烂，但总比完全开不了口要好吧~

I’m definitely going to bring gifts (thanks so much for the great suggestions!).

当然啦，肯定要准备礼物给他们哒！（谢谢大家给我各种礼物的建议~）

But I was wondering what other advice you might have — specifically, what should I do to make the visit go smoothly? I really could use some help! Thanks!

但是呢，想问问你们还有别的建议不？尤其是……我该怎样才能把这趟行程顺利进行下去？真的需要各位的帮助啊！感谢感谢！

看这姑娘着急的……这还不算正式的“中国媳妇”呢，就如此看重这次过年，

妹纸你有心啦~

Kelly妹纸的“求助信”是发在一个博客上的。

而这个博客的博主不是别人，正是咱们之前介绍过好几次的著名洋媳妇——乔斯林(Jocelyn Eikenburg)。

▲Jocelyn

乔斯林的老公是中国人，她如今也在中国长住，开了个名为

“洋媳妇谈中国”

的博客，分享了许多和中国亲友相处的趣事儿。

▲乔斯林的博客“洋媳妇谈中国”

这次，对于Kelly妹纸的求助，乔斯林也以“过来人”的身份给了一些

贴心的建议。

她是这样说的——

Every Chinese family, obviously, will be different, and react differently to you — so I can’t guarantee marriage for you too. But there are some things you can do to improve your chances of making a smashing first impression:

显然啦，每个中国家庭都不尽相同，对你的到来也会有不同反应——所以我也没法保证你能和他顺利走进婚姻的殿堂。

但是呢，还是有些小技巧，可以帮助你提升几率、获得不错的第一印象。

1.Gifts are a must for the family, as you already know.

一定要给他家人准备礼物！是的~这一点你已经提到了。

It’s the best way to create goodwill from the first “Ni Hao” (after all, Chinese people tend to show their feelings through indirect means, such as gifts, so it’s a language they understand).

I’d follow the gift-giving suggestions I’ve laid out, leaning towards vitamins for his parents and grandparents. Find out what other relatives will be present and bring something for them, too.

首先第一印象很重要，一定要学会礼貌的问候男朋友的家人，适当的学一两句汉语可以为你加很多分哦！同时你也可以给他的父母和爷爷奶奶准备维生素一类的保健品，也要带点儿别的礼物送给其他亲戚。

2. Avoid physical contact with your Chinese boyfriend in front of his family.

不要在他的家人面前和他卿卿我我。

I’ve never seen my husband’s family members hug, kiss or even hold hands in front of us. Additionally, it will only reinforce the unfortunate stereotype that all Western women are “easy” or “seductresses.”

在亲戚面前拥抱接吻什么的，会给他们一种“西方女人不矜持甚至不检点”的感觉。

3. Defer to his family, especially the elders.

多顺着他的家人，尤其是老年人。

Chinese families prize filial behavior and deference to elders. That means being more passive — let his family “set the schedule” and be in charge. If they plan meals or have outings or other activities, go along and be a good guest (such as, being the last to sit at the table). Avoid complaining in public, even about annoyances like smoking (try, instead, to resolve issues with the help of your boyfriend). They will appreciate you for this.

他们家人要安排什么活动，老老实实参加就行。

不要自作主张，不要公开抱怨，做个有礼貌的好客人。

4. Bring photos to share.

可以带些照片去分享给他们看。

They’re a great way to “break the ice” with his family and make a personal connection. Things were pretty tense that first Chinese New Year I spent with my Chinese husband — but when I brought out the photos of my family and vacations, suddenly his parents began talking with me. It was a real turning point.

带点你自己家人过节的照片给他们看，化解初见的尴尬冷场有奇效！

5. Don’t talk about your relationship with his family, unless they ask you.

除非他们主动问起，否则不要主动谈你和你男票的感情状况。

I doubt they will — love is still an embarrassing, highly personal topic in China.

6. Don’t talk about where you might live in the future.

别谈你们今后打算去哪里定居这种事。

I’m assuming your Chinese boyfriend is an only child. If he is, his parents might worry that a foreign girl will take him away from China — leaving nobody to care for them in old age. If anyone presses you about staying indefinitely in China, simply give a vague, noncommittal answer, such as “that’s interesting.”

你男票应该也是独生子吧？他的家人会很怕你今后把他“拐”去国外、让他们老无所依的。这事儿现在能不提就别提，含糊应付下就好。

7. Bring a nice, new outfit to wear.

带一件好看的新衣服过去穿。

In Chinese New Year, everyone wears new clothing on the first day of the new year for good luck — so why not take the opportunity to impress your potential inlaws? When I first “met the parents,” I had a Tang-dynasty style jacket and skirt tailor-made just for the occasion. Of course, it was freezing and I only wore it part of the Chinese New Year’s day. But it left a lasting impression.

中国人有“新年穿新衣”的习俗，记得大年初一换上新衣服。我当时穿的就是中国唐风的外套和裙子~

看到这里，真是要给乔斯林点个赞啊！这“洋媳妇”做到这个份上，真是相当细心了！

可见，在咱们眼中“没啥意思”的春节，对于洋媳妇洋女婿们来说，还是煞费苦心、需要狠动一番脑筋去应付的。

毕竟东西方的文化差异本来就不小，加之中国的节日习俗繁多，各家又有各家的讲究和规矩，也是难为他们啦……

囧并快乐着……

其实，无论去哪里，遵循“入乡随俗”总是错不了的。

对于要在中国过年的洋媳妇洋女婿们也是如此。与其把它当成一个难以迈过的“槛”，不如当做一次深度体验中国风土人情的好机会——

你想想，哪个老外能像你这样，零距离全方位地感受中国的春节文化呢？

去年，美国媳妇Jessica就去到了老公的老家——广东湛江的农村，深度体验了一回中国人的过年方式。

她去捉鸡……

放鞭炮……

洗虾……

捕鱼……

准备食材……

吃饭饭……

再来张全家人的合影……

（图via广东媒体）

是不是和咱中国的媳妇没啥区别了？

入乡随俗，这个范儿不错！

上面的美国媳妇儿倒是玩得开心。

但下面这位美国女婿，

可就有些纠结了……

▲美国女婿“欧阳友华”（图via新快报）

在中国过年时，欧阳友华的岳父母准备了

丰盛的年夜饭。

然而颇为尴尬的是，欧阳友华他是个素食者……

我是个素食者，已经11年不吃肉了。我的丈母娘准备晚饭，她蒸、煮、炸做了八道菜，一道道菜揭开盖子，有鸡、鱼、虾、章鱼、牛肉、香肠、猪脚、鸭子。妻子的爸爸举起酒杯祝酒后，家人们就开吃了。

我退缩了。

唯一一道蔬菜还是被包在牛肉或章鱼里。

丈母娘注意到我不敢下筷，“

你为什么不吃肉？

”她问道，还给我夹了个鸡腿，

“你很穷吗？在美国吃不起肉吗？”

▲素食洋女婿在华过春节难下筷岳母：美国吃不起肉吗（via新快报）

由于这顿年夜饭几乎没有蔬菜，可怜的欧阳友华几乎是

蘸着酱油

吃完了一碗饭。

但是，到了第二天早上，他发现事情

有些不太一样了……

第二天日出前，我就被咆哮般的鞭炮吵醒。

这一餐的早餐很特别，没有肉，却有8道不同的蔬菜。

原来，这一餐素食是为了表示怜悯并祈求8种不同的运气。我尝遍每一道菜，都吃光光了。

我感到很满足，但是丈母娘却不满足，坚持要继续给我做菜，直到我吃不下为止。这无疑是这一年里最丰盛的一餐了。

据说，如今欧阳友华每次跟中国丈母娘吃饭，后者都会给他

准备特别多的蔬菜……超级暖心的！

而对于这些外国的媳妇女婿来说，能在中国过次春节，

感受下被众人“围观”的感觉，那也是挺独一无二的有趣体验啊~

比如下面这枚瑞士女婿，每次过年都会成为中国亲戚们的焦点……

▲Marc Hunziker和妻子的中国亲戚们 (图via South China Morning Post)

“At all my family gatherings, my husband will become the centre of attention,” said Qiu, a 34-year-old marketing manager at a state-owned firm in Shanghai, who married Hunziker in May. “‘Do you like Chinese food, how did you pick up the Chinese language, what do the Swiss people do during Christmas?’ … My relatives are very interested to find out his views.”

Hunziker said it all started to feel slightly repetitive after the first few days, but it was good to see his wife’s relatives again every year. He communicates well with Qiu’s family as he speaks fluent Putonghua.

▲Marry a foreigner: one way to avoid Spring Festival dilemma

(via South China Morning Post)

果然……

要浪的起来的前提是，你语言得过关啊！