教学素材 | 那些年“谈错”的爱情,究竟错在哪里?
特别声明:《教学素材 | 那些年“谈错”的爱情,究竟错在哪里?》转载于网络,并不代表傻大方资讯网的立场。
5.20将至,我们不妨一起谈谈爱情。
提及爱情,人们常用疯狂(crazy、madness)等词去描绘形容,甚至觉得爱情令人痛苦(woe)、心痛(heartache)、心碎(heartbreak)。然而这真是爱情的“真面目”吗?
我们可否更积极地认识、讨论爱情,并因此维系更甜蜜美好的爱情呢?
在一期TED演讲中,《纽约时报》现代爱情专栏人气作家、加拿大英属哥伦比亚大学英文文学教授Mandy Len Catron女士带我们
重塑对爱情的看法
。本素材包含视频及文本,适用于以“爱情”为主题的精读、泛读、议论文写作等课程及四六级听力练习。
关键词:love,relationship,men and women,精读,泛读,议论文写作,四六级听力
Johnson and Lakoff suggest
a new metaphor for love
: love asa collaborative work of art
. ... And Johnson and Lakoff talk about everything that collaborating on a work of art entails:effort, compromise, patience, shared goals
.爱情,可被喻为一场合作创造的艺术。在创造过程中,努力、妥协、耐心与共同目标是必不可少的。这与文化中对恋人的长期关系或其他任何一种关系的看法不谋而合。
So if love is
a collaborative work of art
, then love isan aesthetic experience
. Love is unpredictable, love is creative, love requires communication and discipline, it is frustrating and emotionally demanding. And love involves both joy and pain. Ultimately, each experience of love is different.爱是不可预测的、有创造力的,爱需要交流和规则,爱也令人受挫并要求在情感上有所付出。爱既痛苦又甜蜜。最终,每一次爱的体验都是不同的。
Reframing love as
something I get to create with someone I admire
, rather than something that just happens to me without my control or consent, isempowering
. It"s still hard. Love still feels totally maddening and crushing some days, and when I feel really frustrated, I have to remind myself: my job in this relationship is to talk to my partner aboutwhat I want to make together
. And this isn"t easy, either. But it"s just so much better than the alternative, which is that thing that feels like madness.重塑对爱情的看法,将爱看成一场与仰慕之人合作产生的艺术,会让人充满能量。即便爱情仍时常令人感到疯狂、不堪一击,但我们可以提醒自己:我在这段关系中的工作是告诉我的伴侣,我想和他共同建立的是什么。
This version of love is not about winning or losing someone"s affection. Instead, it requires that you
trust your partner and talk about things
when trusting feels difficult, which sounds so simple, but is actually a kind of revolutionary, radical act. This is because you get to stop thinking about yourself and what you"re gaining or losing in your relationship, and you get to startthinking about
what you have to offer
. This version of love allows us to say things like, "Hey, we"re not very good collaborators. Maybe this isn"t for us." Or, "That relationship was shorter than I had planned, but it was still kind of beautiful."这样的爱,使你不再仅仅关注爱情中的输与赢,而是要求你更加信任另一半,开始思考你能给予什么。这样的爱,赋予你更豁达的态度。
The beautiful thing about the collaborative work of art is that it will
not paint or draw or sculpt itself
. This version of loveallows us to decide what it looks like
.合作创造的艺术之美在于,它不会自己成为艺术品。这样的爱让我们能够决定自己的爱情应该是什么样的。
A different metaphor for love may help us find more joy — and less suffering — in it.
换一个思路看爱情,换一种方式谈爱情,也许你会发现它别样的美!
你又会把爱情比喻作什么呢?
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